Are Self Limiting Beliefs affecting my Work?
For The Inner Work-Out I am writing a bi- weekly newsletter. Here is a little excerpt I wrote for this reason.
When facilitating and taking part in coaching or group sessions I often come across self limiting beliefs. You know the little voice inside you that tells you that you are not good/experienced/beautiful (fill in your personal SLB here) enough to do something. Or it urges you to do everything perfectly or makes you think that winning is the only option - everything else is not worth it.
Sounds familiar? Well that is because we are all dealing with those beliefs. And we really should be because they do have a purpose. Beliefs are thoughts, opinions and rules for life that we see as the truth. They ensure order and stability in our lives and serve as an explanation for everything new and previously inexplicable.
With them we make the world around us understandable. They guide us significantly in our decision-making and are usually formed in childhood.
Many of our beliefs, for example “I can decide for myself”, “I will find a solution”, “I remain open to new ideas” are very useful and good, but there are also some that have a negative effect on us e.g. “I'm not made for that”, “You can't trust people”, “I mustn't make mistakes”. They might stop us and keep us in our comfort zone. And we all know that the magic is not to be found there. So yes, they probably do affect your work and personal life.
So how do we identify self limiting beliefs?
For me its all about self reflection - and Inner Work-Out sessions are a great way to begin. The moment you start getting to know yourself better you are going to come up against your self limiting beliefs. One voice that I often hear says "I can only deliver work that is of the highest standard and quality" and oh boy, I can tell you it can be exhausting. For my clients it's usually a good thing. For me, the people around me and especially my family it can be stressful. Being a perfectionist often comes with also wanting to control everything which is simply not very pleasant for anyone involved.
Talking to Amir from The Inner Work Out about it he immediately shares what his voice is telling him: "I want everyone to appreciate me and think positive things about me." Having spent a lot of time with this man I can say with complete certainty that he has no reason to worry about such things, but that obviously doesn't help him. He still avoided conflict and difficult conversations in order to be liked. He puts it like this: "The thing about the self limiting beliefs is that you accept them as the truth and look at the world through them instead of looking at them".
So here is my challenge for you. Listen closer to the voice that is limiting you. What does it say? AND: Is it really true what it is trying to tell you? Because we think there is a big chance that it isn't.